Funnies

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.) Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because i f we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” –Mariah Carey”

Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,” — Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.” –Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” –Al Gore, Vice President

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?” –Lee Iacocca

“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” –Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.